Marriage changes everything. All that you have been used to, all that you used to do and people you used to depend upon and run to--they will be no more. Daily activities, habits, beliefs, thinking and perspective will and should all be changed from selfish to selfless. But not many couples welcome these changes with ease. As all beginnings do, it takes adjustments and adaptation to transition from single to double. And when we fail to do so, conflicts arise. All marriages aren't immune. And so it is vital to understand this before entering a sacred covenant that is marriage. Leave and cleave as the Bible said, cutting apron strings as it is commonly called. But the real idea is tearing away and knitting together. We are torn away from the old to be knitted together to our spouses to become ONE and new. Unity is crucial. It dictates the identity of our marriage and becomes a stronghold. Oneness in decisions despite opposing viewpoints, oneness in priority even as you come from contrasting backgrounds, and as importantly one in sexual affections--despite little motivations and tainted pasts. One flesh is the very essential design in the DNA of a marriage. Let us put this in the forefront of our mind, the very center of our heart.
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Lord, you know every struggles and issues I went through over the years with my parents-in-law. My heart sustained hurts and aches because of my enmity over the one important man in my loved one's life. It lasted for years all because I let my anger consume me. My pride kept me from making amends and in the process, it placed a deep hurt in my husband's heart, a heavy strain on our relationship and an invisible division in our marriage. Because I felt I've been wronged, I allowed resentment to reign over me. I wanted my husband to completely leave the shadows of his control and expectations for selfish reasons and from a place of deep-seated anger. I did not realize that "leaving" entails "cleaving" and "being one flesh" -- not only a breaking of natural tie but of clinging to each other for refuge and safety and joining of our hearts as truly one. I wanted him to break away but was not ready to be his stronghold and much worse, defying to be one with him. Thank You Lord, for melting the ice of this proud heart years back and teaching me to be humble and let go of my anger. Thank You for a better relationship with my father in law since then and until today. More importantly, thank You that I have begun to understand the true meaning of "leaving" and "cleaving", Your true designs for a marriage -- it is a courageous choice that not only Paul has to make, but both of us so that we can walk as ONE as You have planned and laid out our marriage to be. I pray that You keep both of us focused on Your Word and impassioned with the pursuit of our unity -- the oneness in decision making, in priorities and sexual affections. Remind us all the time that, that we are "one flesh" who have decided to "leave", "cleave" and dared to "walk as one". Amen.
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. -- Genesis 2:24
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Lord, you know every struggles and issues I went through over the years with my parents-in-law. My heart sustained hurts and aches because of my enmity over the one important man in my loved one's life. It lasted for years all because I let my anger consume me. My pride kept me from making amends and in the process, it placed a deep hurt in my husband's heart, a heavy strain on our relationship and an invisible division in our marriage. Because I felt I've been wronged, I allowed resentment to reign over me. I wanted my husband to completely leave the shadows of his control and expectations for selfish reasons and from a place of deep-seated anger. I did not realize that "leaving" entails "cleaving" and "being one flesh" -- not only a breaking of natural tie but of clinging to each other for refuge and safety and joining of our hearts as truly one. I wanted him to break away but was not ready to be his stronghold and much worse, defying to be one with him. Thank You Lord, for melting the ice of this proud heart years back and teaching me to be humble and let go of my anger. Thank You for a better relationship with my father in law since then and until today. More importantly, thank You that I have begun to understand the true meaning of "leaving" and "cleaving", Your true designs for a marriage -- it is a courageous choice that not only Paul has to make, but both of us so that we can walk as ONE as You have planned and laid out our marriage to be. I pray that You keep both of us focused on Your Word and impassioned with the pursuit of our unity -- the oneness in decision making, in priorities and sexual affections. Remind us all the time that, that we are "one flesh" who have decided to "leave", "cleave" and dared to "walk as one". Amen.
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. -- Genesis 2:24