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by: Tini Tadeo-Castillo
"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people, for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." There is power in praying. There is an even greater power when we, wives, pray for our husbands. Being the authority over us, our spiritual leader, all the more we must pray for them. We are the strongest prayer warriors for our spouses! And I can attest. Thanks to Facebook memories, I was taken on a trip down memory lane as I read my prayers from a year ago for my husband through a prayer challenge. As I read each prayer, I could not help but be in tears as I realized how many of them have been answered by the Lord. My man is still in a work in progress and continues to be the perfectly imperfect match to me. But while he is, I can attest that he has gone a long way from who he was when I began praying for and over him. The nights he would sleep (and snore!) and I would be careful to lay my hands on him, praying fervently that he would become the man God designed him to be--they did not go to waste and certainly did not fall into deaf ears. God heard every single one of those prayers and to this day He is working on those prayers of mine. The other day as Paul led our family to a devotion on the renewing of minds and not conforming to the ways of the world, I could not help but smile, be in awe of the man explaining how important it is to read God's word to be renewed, be grateful to what God has done and is still doing. To any wife reading this, who may be struggling with her husband, hopeless in seeing the man he is today, impatient on how God is transforming him, doubtful whether your prayer is being answered or even heard, whining about what seemed to be a very slow progress in his sanctification...wherever you maybe in your feelings towards your husband's spiritual state, please take heart. I prayed the following prayers a year ago and today I am reaping the rewards of praying for Paul. Press on with your prayers. Fix your eyes on Him who hears those supplications. Do not be discouraged because God in His most perfect time will answer them. In fact, he may have already answered them already and you aren't paying attention. No matter how slow it maybe for our timeline, rest in knowing that God's timeline is infintely better, His ways higher and His process wiser than ours. Sharing these prayers once more, in the hopes that they may serve as your guide on what to say and in how to go down on your knees for that very special man in your life. DAY 1 June 26, 2016 Lord, I lift up my husband Paul to you. I pray that you will fill his heart to the brim with Your love, that his mind will grow in the deep knowledge of Christ, that his soul be guided by Your word. May Your spirit live within him and cause him to walk in Your ways. Amen." "I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return." ~ Philippians1:9-10 NLT DAY 2 Lord, I thank you for man Paul has become since he has come to know You. I pray that he will live his life in accordance to your plans and design and do so that You alone will be glorified. Father, I pray that he will seek wisdom only from You who will give it generously, that he will submit any fears to You knowing that You are with him in Your mission and purpose for him to be a pastor, priest and provider for us. Amen. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28 NASB DAY 3 Lord, thank you for blessing me with a man like Paul whose relationship with you has bore fruits in his life. My heart is full of gratitude that you gave me the privilege to see these fruits first-hand. Lord I pray that you keep him humble, that he be quick to agree with You about any sin in his life and be tender towards Your voice of instruction, command and rebuke. May he always love righteousness and hate wickedness of the culture and be able to pass it on to our children. Amen. "Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments!" ~ Psalm 112:1 ESV DAY4 Father, I thank you for blessing me with my better-half Paul, indeed he is the better half between us. Thank You for the transforming power of Your Spirit in him. In his tranquil love and and in his daily battles, I see him find his courage and draw his strength from You. Father, continue to shower him with friendships that sharpen and encourage him. Grant him a heart of thankfulness that transcends every season, unceasingly giving thanks to You in all circumstance. Make him sober-minded, vigilant, covered with your protective armor, armed with Your weapon that he may be able to stand firmly against the schemes of the evil one. Amen. "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being" ~ Ephesians 3:16 NIV DAY 5 Lord, I thank you everyday for my husband Paul. May Your Word dwell in him richly and work in him mightily. May it penetrate deeply in his heart, bring life and health in him and in his body. May he stand firm in faith and conviction in You. May he conform to Your will in every purpose, thought and action. Amen. "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong." ~ 1 Corinthians 16:13 NIV DAY 6 Lord, I praise You for the works You have done in the life of my husband Paul. It is only by Your grace that he is the man that he is now. Father, flood his heart with your light that he may see Your plans and fill it with wisdom to discern Your will for him and our family. May his roots go down deep into the soil of Your amazing love and grace. Lord, use him to reflect Your love to our children and to the people within our circle of influence. Guide him to lead our family according to your design; to love, nurture, cherish and honor me so his prayers may not be hindered; to raise Jam and Cicc in the tender nurture and training, discipline, counsel, and admonition of You, Lord. Amen. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." ~ Romans 12:2 NIV DAY 7 Thank You, Father for the gift of Jesus and the gift of my husband Paul. With Your Word as the source of his wisdom, I have rest and security in his leadership of our home. Lord You know the desire's of his heart far better than I do and understand his fears and insecurities more than I ever could. Father, I trust You to give him rest, satisfaction, protection and security; that Your Word will deliver, nourish, and counsel him. Fill him with insights and wisdom he needs in his relationships and work. May his ways be Your ways and his thoughts be Your thoughts. Bless the work of his hand and let it bring honor to Your kingdom. Let his life be a powerful testimony to the people he comes across. Help him to let go of any pride and false humility so that he can enjoy the abundant life that Jesus died for to give him. Anoint him with a supernatural portion of Your son's humility and may he exhibit the same grace You have shown and extended to him. Give him a faith, bold and courageous. Use me to encourage and motivate him, bear his burdens, and reflect Your lavish love for him. Amen. "I have found the one whom my soul loves..." ~ Song of Solomon 3:4 ESV PS I would love to hear stories, feedback and testimonies on this. Let's share our walk and be encouragers to others :)
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 by Tini Tadeo-Castillo
I came across a podcast about marriage this morning, how the word CHERISH can bring our marriages into a whole new dimension. It said that cherishing marriage is so rich, it's truly worth working for. I agree. Early in the morning yesterday, I found myself weeping to the Lord for something I desired for my husband which I felt he had no desire to pursue. It was a selfish weep, I admit. I was quickly reminded through a sister in Christ that my hope lies in the Lord, not and never on my husband. I was relieved albeit temporarily. My heart wasn't yet in the place of fully letting go of the creeping resentment. My silence was a defiance to my husband and when I wasn't indulged, I had more resons to hold on to the resentment. Though I recognized the attack, I had a hard time releasing the emotion, firmly clutching on to it because deep inside, I still felt justified of my bitterness. My desire was aligned with His will for us, wasn't it? What was wrong with it? Come evening, I watched a Korean drama with my daughter and sister. As we watched a couple of episodes, I found myself feeling relieved in many ways. Although the drama was just heavy in the heart and I was bawling like crazy, deep within I felt a sense of relief. That I didn't have to go through the pain of separation as the Goblin and his bride had to go through, or to be torn between grief and guilt as the Grim Reaper felt. Suddenly, my drama felt so irrelevant compared to the tragedy they were going through. The Lord has a funny way of teaching me a lesson on cherishing. I hadn't been exactly a cherishing spouse when I gave him silence. I wasn't rude yet I was cold. To me that was dying to myself, restraining my tongue. But what was the real reason for the silence? Defiance. That wasn't cherishing at all. I could see how my temperament had taken another jab at my marriage. Why wasn't I giving him the benefit of the doubt? Knowing Paul, he would never intentionally hurt me. But things got jumbled up in his mind and he said something I didn't find too nice. I could not let go of it. Now I assess it, I realized he was just calling a spade a spade, I was just sensitive and emotional and childish. Doing mental gymnastics this morning made me realize that I had not given him the benefit of the doubt.There was no grace on my part. Lesson learned: Contempt really does not make sense especially in a marriage. As the guy in the podcast said, “it serves no purpose to express disdain or disrespect or contempt”. Rudeness, silence or bitterness will never ever produce a more intimate, more fulfilling and happier marriage. Regardless of what our spouses does or does not do, we must aim to cherish. I must aim to cherish Paul, extending grace and giving him the benefit of the doubt, and trusting God to work on him, according to His timeline and not mine. Lastly, today I realized another definition of marriage. Worship. Marriage is worship. One of the best ways we could love our heavenly Father, is treating Him as our "Father-in-law" and loving and cherishing His son/daughter.  by Tini Tadeo-Castillo
In my desire to put a point across and for it to be valued, I made a rigid position about something I wanted and planned ahead without prior consult. How? By silent treatment. It was a struggle not to be disrespectful because I know it is blatantly wrong. But I felt hurt that what I want was easily dismissed. So I debated with myself and thought "Okay let's try silence!" instead of trying to win the battle with words. Believing I was right and attempting to coerce my husband that he was narrow-minded about something I was passionate about through silence, was in fact pride. It wasn't my tongue in action but my heart refusing to budge for the last two days? That was still impertinence. Glaring pride. I was too absorbed with my own hurt, became intolerant of my husband's position, resented him for it and refused to pursue hearing his reason. I was convicted this morning after praying and saw how I was wrong to make plans on a Sunday and to assume it was okay with him. See, Sundays are sacred for us. It's been a rule for our family not to make other plans on that day without consulting. We had to make sure the kids knew their priorities especially on worship day and have been strictly enforcing this to Jam and Leila. Then, I overtly tried to bend this rule. Needless to say, I was burdened to apologize to my husband, he accepted it and he explained his stand clearly. He did not fight tooth and nail to put his point across and waited for me to realize this on my own. He trusted the Holy Spirit will be at work in my heart and so it was. My point in sharing? There is beauty in humility especially in marriage. Many arguments can be avoided with diplomacy. Further conflicts can be dodged when we are humble, if we take time out to assess the situation and see how much of the damage we are liable for. Valuing the relationship rather than being right has its rewards. There is nothing to lose when we humble ourselves and consider our spouses more important than us. In fact there is more to gain--peace, unity and harmony. Don't we want that in our marriage? Is that what we have been desiring for all along? Be the catalyst for growth in your marriage and marital peace. Choose humility. Today, I did. Here's to praying I will always do so.  by Tini Tadeo-Castillo
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting ~~ Psalm 139:23-24 Last week, my prayer went something like this. I didn't want to be deceived by my heart and my pride. I asked the Lord to reveal anything wicked in me because too many voices (including my own) may have drowned out His. I may have fallen deaf causing me to wander away from Him. I got really scared. I felt drawn to a sister in Christ to unload my heart. It gave me respite but I had fears that I was being selective in my counsel, drawing nearer to the one who I felt sided with me. Days went by and I still felt clouded as issues kept coming back. I felt heaviness, not for a decision I was already wholeheartedly resolved with, but for the sorrow I felt that I was misunderstood for that decision. I began to question yet again my own motives and my heart. It came to a point that as soon as Paul came in the door one afternoon from work, I ran to him and cried. I felt distressed and grieved that as I take one step away from all the rubble of the past, I was always taken back two steps when it was again discussed, like a vicious cycle. Though it pained my husband deeply and at an even greater proportion than anyone else in the issue, his arms were wide open, ready to catch me. If I was crying, he was bleeding. But he was willing to be the villain in all of it, to be the fall guy, ready to be viewed as the unforgiving, immature and selfish husband, when in fact his intentions for me were the purest of all. Still I did not feel victorious because the issues were relentless, pounding in my ears. I cried out to God as I knew His comfort was exactly what I needed. “Lord, was I not doing the right thing by my submission to my husband and for making a decision that I know will protect my marriage? Lord, is my heart deceitful, prideful? Is my heart fooling me to believe that I have forgiven and forgotten when in fact I haven’t? Was my humility in all these counterfeit and insincere?” The voices were again hounding despite my plea for a breather. “Lord, deal with me accordingly when you reveal all these to be true. Please speak, soundly, clearly and profoundly that I may know it is truly Your voice that I hear, and I may obey instantly.” And because God hears pleas, even words unspoken, He knows hearts and His ways are higher than ours, He spoke. He did through a devotion I came across four days ago on DOTK that told me to surround myself with wise counsel but to go to that one believer whose wisdom will align with God's Word and will bring peace in my heart and mind. And so I was lead back to the same sister in Christ for counsel, and indeed I truly felt peace like never before. Last Sunday, He spoke yet again through Pastor Erwin Elevazo and through 2 Chronicles 20:15 that said the battle isn't mine but God's. This battle has already been won by the Lord for me, I’ve surrendered all these to Him a long time ago. Why in the world will I take it back? Yesterday, God affirmed further in my heart that my anxiety and doubt was nothing compared to the task He prepared for me. I am His, He honors my submission to Paul and He wants me to walk away from the rubble that derails me and fix my eyes on Jesus. He gave me what seemed like a simple a task of comforting a grieving friend but for a believer like me it is a privilege to be called by my King for His Kingdom agenda. I wouldn't have imagined I would do something like that, that He would lead my friend to me for spiritual guidance, that I would be the person God will assign to pray with her, that my King would see me worthy enough to witness for Him. During dinner last night, I sat feeling exhausted physically from a day of hauling stuff and helping my friend move out. I began telling Paul and our kids how the day went by and despite the exhaustion, I was spiritually fired up. I suddenly wept uncontrollably in the middle of my story not because I was weary but because I felt God’s grace, love and favor on me. I felt His arms wrapped around me, His cheek pressed on my head, His hand rubbing my back, His voice saying, “It’s okay. I’m here. I love you.” God manifested himself physically through my husband. ~~ Incidentally, these were the verses I read yesterday for my friend. I realized it was just as God’s message to me as it was to her. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~~ Romans 8:38-39 …for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU. ~~ Hebrews 13:5 I wrote this last December 14, 2013...the last day of my 40-day journey in rediscovering myself, my husband and my marriage. Truly, God is the only one who can open our eyes, change our hearts, make our feet walk and melt our pride. I am a testament that when you seek God's Kingdom first in all you do, He will answer your prayers. On the 40th day, I had the most fervent desire that I boldly claimed in prayer. God answered it exactly 147 days after.
~~~~~ Lord, thank You for carrying me through this Love Dare. The last four weeks has been a rewarding experience albeit a challenging one. I am amazed how 40 days can make a complete turn around in a 15-year marriage. That which I did not and could not learn, realize and understand about my relationship and my spouse for so many years, You taught and helped me accept and believe through Your conviction in a short time. You broke through my wall and helped me come to terms with my shortcomings and flaws and told me that my marriage is a safe place to be imperfect. You opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities and adventures that You have in store for me and the man You chose to be my best. When my heart turns to ice, You touch it and the cold turns to warm. When I get consumed by resentment and indignation, You place Your hand in mind and steadily whisper to my ear to pause, breathe and let go of my dark feelings. Thank You Father for redefining the meaning of my marriage from a mere contract to a sacred covenant. Over the last 40 days, You have shed light into my heart and made me look at my marriage they way I have never viewed it before, as a strong covenant that is meant to last a lifetime and not something that could be abandoned when demands aren't met. Because I viewed my marriage as a contract, I used the escape clauses to try to cut myself loose when my chip felt overloaded and wanted to be free. Thank You for the gentle nudge that I should take my pledge to my husband by heart. Your grace has given me strength these last days to exercise my role as one of Your covenant keeper, because I know that I alone cannot. I know that Your real dare for me is to sustain this from tomorrow to forever. There will be times when I may fail You because I will rely on my own strength. I know that You will walk with me anyway. There will be days when I will be less motivated and feel drained, please encourage me and restore my spirit. Fill my cup with overflowing love always so that I may love generously in return. There wll be instances when I will stray away from the flock, guard me and lead me back, Lord. When I become unforgiving and my love becomes provisional, remind me to be like You and of Your love that is forgiving and undeterred. When dark storms come, and trials flood our life, be the beacon and buoy. I pray that my faith be kept burning alive and to never lose this hunger for You because I am certain that as long as You are with me and in me, I can do all things. More importantly, sustain me from tomorrow until forever as I make my marriage a living testament of Your Word and love. Fifteen years ago, my marriage was witnessed by some of our family in the eyes of the law, but one day I know and I claim that You shall fulfill my dream of a marriage not of the law but of You, a covenant that seals my bumpy and imperfect yet beautiful love story, a ceremony where I shall publicly speak every single word of my heartfelt vows, witnessed by the few but truest and most important people in my life and blessed by You our God. Amen. Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. -- Ruth 1:16 |
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