I wrote this last December 14, 2013...the last day of my 40-day journey in rediscovering myself, my husband and my marriage. Truly, God is the only one who can open our eyes, change our hearts, make our feet walk and melt our pride. I am a testament that when you seek God's Kingdom first in all you do, He will answer your prayers. On the 40th day, I had the most fervent desire that I boldly claimed in prayer. God answered it exactly 147 days after.
~~~~~
Lord, thank You for carrying me through this Love Dare. The last four weeks has been a rewarding experience albeit a challenging one. I am amazed how 40 days can make a complete turn around in a 15-year marriage. That which I did not and could not learn, realize and understand about my relationship and my spouse for so many years, You taught and helped me accept and believe through Your conviction in a short time. You broke through my wall and helped me come to terms with my shortcomings and flaws and told me that my marriage is a safe place to be imperfect. You opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities and adventures that You have in store for me and the man You chose to be my best. When my heart turns to ice, You touch it and the cold turns to warm. When I get consumed by resentment and indignation, You place Your hand in mind and steadily whisper to my ear to pause, breathe and let go of my dark feelings. Thank You Father for redefining the meaning of my marriage from a mere contract to a sacred covenant. Over the last 40 days, You have shed light into my heart and made me look at my marriage they way I have never viewed it before, as a strong covenant that is meant to last a lifetime and not something that could be abandoned when demands aren't met. Because I viewed my marriage as a contract, I used the escape clauses to try to cut myself loose when my chip felt overloaded and wanted to be free. Thank You for the gentle nudge that I should take my pledge to my husband by heart. Your grace has given me strength these last days to exercise my role as one of Your covenant keeper, because I know that I alone cannot. I know that Your real dare for me is to sustain this from tomorrow to forever. There will be times when I may fail You because I will rely on my own strength. I know that You will walk with me anyway. There will be days when I will be less motivated and feel drained, please encourage me and restore my spirit. Fill my cup with overflowing love always so that I may love generously in return. There wll be instances when I will stray away from the flock, guard me and lead me back, Lord. When I become unforgiving and my love becomes provisional, remind me to be like You and of Your love that is forgiving and undeterred. When dark storms come, and trials flood our life, be the beacon and buoy. I pray that my faith be kept burning alive and to never lose this hunger for You because I am certain that as long as You are with me and in me, I can do all things. More importantly, sustain me from tomorrow until forever as I make my marriage a living testament of Your Word and love.
Fifteen years ago, my marriage was witnessed by some of our family in the eyes of the law, but one day I know and I claim that You shall fulfill my dream of a marriage not of the law but of You, a covenant that seals my bumpy and imperfect yet beautiful love story, a ceremony where I shall publicly speak every single word of my heartfelt vows, witnessed by the few but truest and most important people in my life and blessed by You our God. Amen.
Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. -- Ruth 1:16
~~~~~
Lord, thank You for carrying me through this Love Dare. The last four weeks has been a rewarding experience albeit a challenging one. I am amazed how 40 days can make a complete turn around in a 15-year marriage. That which I did not and could not learn, realize and understand about my relationship and my spouse for so many years, You taught and helped me accept and believe through Your conviction in a short time. You broke through my wall and helped me come to terms with my shortcomings and flaws and told me that my marriage is a safe place to be imperfect. You opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities and adventures that You have in store for me and the man You chose to be my best. When my heart turns to ice, You touch it and the cold turns to warm. When I get consumed by resentment and indignation, You place Your hand in mind and steadily whisper to my ear to pause, breathe and let go of my dark feelings. Thank You Father for redefining the meaning of my marriage from a mere contract to a sacred covenant. Over the last 40 days, You have shed light into my heart and made me look at my marriage they way I have never viewed it before, as a strong covenant that is meant to last a lifetime and not something that could be abandoned when demands aren't met. Because I viewed my marriage as a contract, I used the escape clauses to try to cut myself loose when my chip felt overloaded and wanted to be free. Thank You for the gentle nudge that I should take my pledge to my husband by heart. Your grace has given me strength these last days to exercise my role as one of Your covenant keeper, because I know that I alone cannot. I know that Your real dare for me is to sustain this from tomorrow to forever. There will be times when I may fail You because I will rely on my own strength. I know that You will walk with me anyway. There will be days when I will be less motivated and feel drained, please encourage me and restore my spirit. Fill my cup with overflowing love always so that I may love generously in return. There wll be instances when I will stray away from the flock, guard me and lead me back, Lord. When I become unforgiving and my love becomes provisional, remind me to be like You and of Your love that is forgiving and undeterred. When dark storms come, and trials flood our life, be the beacon and buoy. I pray that my faith be kept burning alive and to never lose this hunger for You because I am certain that as long as You are with me and in me, I can do all things. More importantly, sustain me from tomorrow until forever as I make my marriage a living testament of Your Word and love.
Fifteen years ago, my marriage was witnessed by some of our family in the eyes of the law, but one day I know and I claim that You shall fulfill my dream of a marriage not of the law but of You, a covenant that seals my bumpy and imperfect yet beautiful love story, a ceremony where I shall publicly speak every single word of my heartfelt vows, witnessed by the few but truest and most important people in my life and blessed by You our God. Amen.
Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. -- Ruth 1:16