Until I surrendered my all to my Savior, I always thought there was nothing I couldn't do. As long as I put my heart, energy and time into anything I desired, there wasn't any reason not to have it. Alas! This myth I had in my head was nothing but lies the enemy planted in my heart. The truth was there was nothing I was capable of doing apart from God. I was not capable of sincere and unconditional love even if I exerted my all. I had no idea how to love selflessly and had no means to listen to nor understand the heart of my spouse even if I put my heart into it . I was so blind of my own sinfulness, incapable off seeing the need for my repentance. I resisted far too long and refused to surrender. I put my trust in myself without seeing that it was impossible to live a life of joy and peace, to have and to give genuine love apart from God. Only when I stopped resisting, yielded and surrendered ALL, was I able to see clearly, vividly and undoubtedly, that all things could only be possible with Him, in Him and through Him. It was impossible to redeem all the I lost, transform all the ugly parts of me, restore all that I broke. But with the Lord, ALL the impossible is possible.
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Lord, as I look back on my past, I realized that the love that came from within me has failed me many times. My love depended on conditions suitable only for me and bore fruit that were not pleasing to Your eyes -- selfishness, pride and anger. I haggled with You with so many things, kept postponing what I knew I had to do, succumbed to my humanity and turned a blind eye and deaf ears on You. Yet You NEVER gave up on me, steadily waited on me and pursued me when I ran away. You forgave me many times, and continued to pour Your blessings upon me even when I knew I did not deserve it. I found myself shaking my head thinking "This is impossible! Who was I to deserve such a determined, unimaginable love?" The answer was crystal clear. I am Yours. Thank you Lord, for giving me and showing me first-hand this kind of love. I never would have thought it was possible to be the kind of person, this kind of wife, friend, daughter and mother that I have become in the last 18 days. You opened my eyes and taught me that such love was possible with You. Only in walking with You, will I be able to give this impossible, unconditional, sacrificing, life-long-and-beyond love for Paul. I am delightfully in awe of the reflection I see in the mirror now. And it's because of You and only You. Amen.
Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. -- 1 John 4:7
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Lord, as I look back on my past, I realized that the love that came from within me has failed me many times. My love depended on conditions suitable only for me and bore fruit that were not pleasing to Your eyes -- selfishness, pride and anger. I haggled with You with so many things, kept postponing what I knew I had to do, succumbed to my humanity and turned a blind eye and deaf ears on You. Yet You NEVER gave up on me, steadily waited on me and pursued me when I ran away. You forgave me many times, and continued to pour Your blessings upon me even when I knew I did not deserve it. I found myself shaking my head thinking "This is impossible! Who was I to deserve such a determined, unimaginable love?" The answer was crystal clear. I am Yours. Thank you Lord, for giving me and showing me first-hand this kind of love. I never would have thought it was possible to be the kind of person, this kind of wife, friend, daughter and mother that I have become in the last 18 days. You opened my eyes and taught me that such love was possible with You. Only in walking with You, will I be able to give this impossible, unconditional, sacrificing, life-long-and-beyond love for Paul. I am delightfully in awe of the reflection I see in the mirror now. And it's because of You and only You. Amen.
Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. -- 1 John 4:7