by Tini Tadeo-Castillo
01.12.14
Growing up, I knew about God. The basics. That He is the Supreme Being. He created me and everything else on earth. And that He is all good and that we go to church to hear mass because it was a Sunday (not necessarily every Sunday). What very little stories of the Bible I knew, I learned from watching The Flying House & Superbook, and reading from the Bible Story set of illustrated books of my cousin next door (ironically, this cousin will play a significant role later in my spiritual life). Having graduated from public schools where religion or the likes weren't part of the curriculum, it was quite a jolt when I enrolled in two Catholic universities where Theology was a course of study and prayers were to be memorized and recited before and after class--I was totally clueless what an Angelus was! The only worship song I knew then was Amazing Grace. My Grandma Iping would listen and sing it some afternoons I'd spend with her. I did not really pay attention to the meaning of the song, as I learned to understand song messages only when I started falling in love. (Irony number 2--this was to be THE theme song of my life, my love song for God. Irony number 3--I realized how significant this song was when I fell in love with God.)
Having said all that, I must say my spiritual foundation was weak. Very weak. So when you ask if I knew God intimately, I didn't. I knew Him from what I read and from what people told me. I knew Him from what I saw on the television and based on what tradition and culture dictated about Him. Nothing more, nothing less.
After I got married and had babies, I slowly came to know Him on a different level, a notch higher if I may say. I acknowledged Him as the moving force in my life but not enough to know him intimately and profusely. But obviously God is a persistent and determined one. He saw something in me and was certain I was worth all the trouble. He never gave up pursuing me and waited patiently as His plans unfolded. He desired to be close to me and have a true relationship with me.
Thus begins the story of God's pursuit of me and what was to be a beautiful relationship I will have with God. It came the moment I realized my need for Him. It came when I experienced Him deeply and profoundly at one of my most human and weakest hour. What a fateful day that was! Acknowledging my sinfulness and seeking forgiveness were the first steps in coming to know who God really was in my life. Receiving the most precious gift of redemption through Jesus Christ paved a big way for an intimate relationship with the Lord because I realized its magnitude on my salvation. And how, understanding that ultimate sacrifice, bridged the huge wedge I created between God and me. I was in awe of the perfect kind of love He had for someone imperfect as me. Only He could give such amazing love, unbelievable peace and comfort.
Today I am in pursuit of Him, willingly and whole-heartedly making space for Him in my daily life. I welcome the Holy Spirit as it weaves its way in my heart in my every day and every night. The truths of His promises have become my beacon and I am learning to make it the anchor of each decision I make. I purposely make time to kneel and bow my head in prayer alone many times in the day, and then every night with my family. Though it's a challenge, I commit to read the Bible and soak in His words because now I know therein lies the true manual of life.
As I embark on a journey with my new birth, I know this road trip is the best I will ever make. A roadtrip where God is the driver, I am the passenger and the soundtrack is the music of the voice of the Holy Spirit in my heart. It will take a lifetime to really fathom His greatness and reciprocate the love He has for me. But it's a lifetime and a roadtrip that I have no desire to end :)
01.12.14
Growing up, I knew about God. The basics. That He is the Supreme Being. He created me and everything else on earth. And that He is all good and that we go to church to hear mass because it was a Sunday (not necessarily every Sunday). What very little stories of the Bible I knew, I learned from watching The Flying House & Superbook, and reading from the Bible Story set of illustrated books of my cousin next door (ironically, this cousin will play a significant role later in my spiritual life). Having graduated from public schools where religion or the likes weren't part of the curriculum, it was quite a jolt when I enrolled in two Catholic universities where Theology was a course of study and prayers were to be memorized and recited before and after class--I was totally clueless what an Angelus was! The only worship song I knew then was Amazing Grace. My Grandma Iping would listen and sing it some afternoons I'd spend with her. I did not really pay attention to the meaning of the song, as I learned to understand song messages only when I started falling in love. (Irony number 2--this was to be THE theme song of my life, my love song for God. Irony number 3--I realized how significant this song was when I fell in love with God.)
Having said all that, I must say my spiritual foundation was weak. Very weak. So when you ask if I knew God intimately, I didn't. I knew Him from what I read and from what people told me. I knew Him from what I saw on the television and based on what tradition and culture dictated about Him. Nothing more, nothing less.
After I got married and had babies, I slowly came to know Him on a different level, a notch higher if I may say. I acknowledged Him as the moving force in my life but not enough to know him intimately and profusely. But obviously God is a persistent and determined one. He saw something in me and was certain I was worth all the trouble. He never gave up pursuing me and waited patiently as His plans unfolded. He desired to be close to me and have a true relationship with me.
Thus begins the story of God's pursuit of me and what was to be a beautiful relationship I will have with God. It came the moment I realized my need for Him. It came when I experienced Him deeply and profoundly at one of my most human and weakest hour. What a fateful day that was! Acknowledging my sinfulness and seeking forgiveness were the first steps in coming to know who God really was in my life. Receiving the most precious gift of redemption through Jesus Christ paved a big way for an intimate relationship with the Lord because I realized its magnitude on my salvation. And how, understanding that ultimate sacrifice, bridged the huge wedge I created between God and me. I was in awe of the perfect kind of love He had for someone imperfect as me. Only He could give such amazing love, unbelievable peace and comfort.
Today I am in pursuit of Him, willingly and whole-heartedly making space for Him in my daily life. I welcome the Holy Spirit as it weaves its way in my heart in my every day and every night. The truths of His promises have become my beacon and I am learning to make it the anchor of each decision I make. I purposely make time to kneel and bow my head in prayer alone many times in the day, and then every night with my family. Though it's a challenge, I commit to read the Bible and soak in His words because now I know therein lies the true manual of life.
As I embark on a journey with my new birth, I know this road trip is the best I will ever make. A roadtrip where God is the driver, I am the passenger and the soundtrack is the music of the voice of the Holy Spirit in my heart. It will take a lifetime to really fathom His greatness and reciprocate the love He has for me. But it's a lifetime and a roadtrip that I have no desire to end :)