Desiring to be an intentional, invested and involved mom in the lives of my children... I share a glimpse of my triumphs and failures on my quest to capture their hearts ♥♥♥
by Tini Tadeo-Castillo
If I could name just one thing I realized about Facebook memories that is of utmost importance to me as a mother/parent now, it's the awareness that my posts/words are indeed a reflection/window to my heart. I have seen a couple of my old posts, thanks to FB On this Day. They seemed like a the writings of a discontent and angry stranger. Thus, I found myself in deep contemplation.
There are realizations and lessons therein that I feel I must share so please indulge me:
1) As a mother, I am responsible and accountable about what I put out there. Knowing that I have the strongest influence in my child's life, would I want my children spewing out ugly words/profanity (like I used to do) just to get a point across? Do I really want my children to model the cursing, foul-mouthed parent that I am? It's so easy to type away those expletives when you are upset or feel the need to be heard. Until those words come out of the mouth of your 3 y/o kid, until your teen daughter begins swearing, until your adult son becomes a verbal abuser. Only then, does it become NOT OKAY.
2) What am I really doing as a responsible parent with my fiery speech? Knowing that my words have power (especially over my children) am I training my own tongue to speak gently? Am I speaking respectfully to others especially authorities and about the government? Am I reacting with foolishness brazenly attacking others who we think are incompetent? Am I choosing my words carefully so that what comes out of my mouth are pleasant?
3) In this day and age, people are so rash to spew out nasty words, online bashing and bullying is rampant and everyone seems to have a thing or two to share about their anger. People have become sadly too cruel and I grieve as a mother. At the same time, I get furious. My children see and read those! Then I realize what a hypocrite I have become, so quickly judging a decaying society without
realizing or asking myself what I am doing to keep this from happening. I am guilty contributing to its collapse in my own way just as every parent is. It is a sobering thought that decay isn't limited to what happens outside my home but all the more with what happens within. So what if my social media posts are all gentle and kind, if my words at home are rude and undiplomatic, it is still an exercise in futility, I say. Thus I find myself asking: How have my words (in and out of the house and on my social media) influenced my Jam and Cicc? How will this affect who they are when they grow up? For when they go out there in the world? How will they contribute to its strengthening and improvement?
4) Forgive me if I sound a tad bit too preachy with this, I assure you this is the last thing I want to sound like. But if I do, forgive me anyway. Admittedly, I fail at this even to this day. But what makes a difference )and boy am I glad about this!), is this time when angry and ugly words come out or threaten to spew out of my mouth, I confess it as sin and seek forgiveness. I make myself accountable to my sisters in Christ. When my emotions get the best of me, I stay away from social media lest the vehemence are unleashed for the entire FB/IG/Twitter universe to see/read. Instead, I fall on my knees, asking the only One who has power over my emotions. By His grace, I am able to respond calmly to many things life hurls at me.
I thank Jesus that the strange angry discontent woman I used to be is no more. I still read her words from time to time but with His grace alone, there will be no more of those. No more angry posts, no more ugly words, no more bitterness for the social media universe to read and feast on. Hopefully, only words seasoned with salt.