by Tini Tadeo-Castillo
In my desire to put a point across and for it to be valued, I made a rigid position about something I wanted and planned ahead without prior consult. How? By silent treatment. It was a struggle not to be disrespectful because I know it is blatantly wrong. But I felt hurt that what I want was easily dismissed. So I debated with myself and thought "Okay let's try silence!" instead of trying to win the battle with words. Believing I was right and attempting to coerce my husband that he was narrow-minded about something I was passionate about through silence, was in fact pride. It wasn't my tongue in action but my heart refusing to budge for the last two days? That was still impertinence. Glaring pride. I was too absorbed with my own hurt, became intolerant of my husband's position, resented him for it and refused to pursue hearing his reason.
I was convicted this morning after praying and saw how I was wrong to make plans on a Sunday and to assume it was okay with him. See, Sundays are sacred for us. It's been a rule for our family not to make other plans on that day without consulting. We had to make sure the kids knew their priorities especially on worship day and have been strictly enforcing this to Jam and Leila. Then, I overtly tried to bend this rule. Needless to say, I was burdened to apologize to my husband, he accepted it and he explained his stand clearly. He did not fight tooth and nail to put his point across and waited for me to realize this on my own. He trusted the Holy Spirit will be at work in my heart and so it was.
My point in sharing? There is beauty in humility especially in marriage. Many arguments can be avoided with diplomacy. Further conflicts can be dodged when we are humble, if we take time out to assess the situation and see how much of the damage we are liable for. Valuing the relationship rather than being right has its rewards. There is nothing to lose when we humble ourselves and consider our spouses more important than us. In fact there is more to gain--peace, unity and harmony. Don't we want that in our marriage? Is that what we have been desiring for all along? Be the catalyst for growth in your marriage and marital peace. Choose humility. Today, I did.
Here's to praying I will always do so.
In my desire to put a point across and for it to be valued, I made a rigid position about something I wanted and planned ahead without prior consult. How? By silent treatment. It was a struggle not to be disrespectful because I know it is blatantly wrong. But I felt hurt that what I want was easily dismissed. So I debated with myself and thought "Okay let's try silence!" instead of trying to win the battle with words. Believing I was right and attempting to coerce my husband that he was narrow-minded about something I was passionate about through silence, was in fact pride. It wasn't my tongue in action but my heart refusing to budge for the last two days? That was still impertinence. Glaring pride. I was too absorbed with my own hurt, became intolerant of my husband's position, resented him for it and refused to pursue hearing his reason.
I was convicted this morning after praying and saw how I was wrong to make plans on a Sunday and to assume it was okay with him. See, Sundays are sacred for us. It's been a rule for our family not to make other plans on that day without consulting. We had to make sure the kids knew their priorities especially on worship day and have been strictly enforcing this to Jam and Leila. Then, I overtly tried to bend this rule. Needless to say, I was burdened to apologize to my husband, he accepted it and he explained his stand clearly. He did not fight tooth and nail to put his point across and waited for me to realize this on my own. He trusted the Holy Spirit will be at work in my heart and so it was.
My point in sharing? There is beauty in humility especially in marriage. Many arguments can be avoided with diplomacy. Further conflicts can be dodged when we are humble, if we take time out to assess the situation and see how much of the damage we are liable for. Valuing the relationship rather than being right has its rewards. There is nothing to lose when we humble ourselves and consider our spouses more important than us. In fact there is more to gain--peace, unity and harmony. Don't we want that in our marriage? Is that what we have been desiring for all along? Be the catalyst for growth in your marriage and marital peace. Choose humility. Today, I did.
Here's to praying I will always do so.