All marriages have their share of disagreements and conflicts. No marriage is immune. Two different people who were brought up contrastingly, having unique traits and quirky habits are suddenly brought together--no one expects smooth sailing every single time and no one will see eye to eye everyday. In times of conflict, who do we let win? Often times as nature dictates and our baser instinct direct us, we position ourselves with a warrior stance that means business--winning. I know I did. Yield is not something I am known for. I fight to my last breath and yes, even when the fight isn't worth it and the fight was senseless. As long as I held the steering wheel, that I am in command, in control--all should be smooth sailing. At least from my perspective. I made every issue more important than my marriage. Even when I was illogical (and most often, I was) Paul would let me win. Not cause I was right but because he wanted peace. And when he did, I would accuse him of being a pushover. Clearly, my husband was at loss and a chunk of this problem was because I was a brat. It took every ounce of me to give up the wheel, to yield, bend and put his preference over mine. On my own, it was impossible. Apart from Jesus, I was hopeless.
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Lord, one of the hardest things to defeat inside me is my fear of losing control. I've always thought that to lose control is to be defeated. To bend is to surrender my pride. To submit is to lose my right. This arrogance permeated my marriage, finding it difficult to yield to my spouse when needed; refusing to listen to his opinion and hearing only mine, and in the very rare times I do, it's almost always with contempt. I have been unwilling to compromise because I felt my needs were far more important and his, less. Will you forgive me, Father? Teach me to let go of the steering wheel and to gracefully bend to endure fierce winds. Show me and make me understand that to love, is to let my loved one win. Strip me of this arrogance and replace it with humility and cheerful submission. Lead me and use me mightily so that I may only make loving and lasting investments to my marriage. Amen.
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. -- Philippians 2:4
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Lord, one of the hardest things to defeat inside me is my fear of losing control. I've always thought that to lose control is to be defeated. To bend is to surrender my pride. To submit is to lose my right. This arrogance permeated my marriage, finding it difficult to yield to my spouse when needed; refusing to listen to his opinion and hearing only mine, and in the very rare times I do, it's almost always with contempt. I have been unwilling to compromise because I felt my needs were far more important and his, less. Will you forgive me, Father? Teach me to let go of the steering wheel and to gracefully bend to endure fierce winds. Show me and make me understand that to love, is to let my loved one win. Strip me of this arrogance and replace it with humility and cheerful submission. Lead me and use me mightily so that I may only make loving and lasting investments to my marriage. Amen.
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. -- Philippians 2:4