The only way a love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional--God's kind of love. And because in the first years of my marriage, I did not know God personally, I had trouble with the word "unconditional" much less associating it with love. Thus it figured that my love had easily been shaken by circumstances and time. Over the next years, as the initial thrill wore off and the kids came, my love became dependent on motivation rather than inspiration. Every weapon formed against my marriage, I succumbed to. I made choices that when I look back at now, I know I wouldn't have chosen--choices that hurt the ones I love and my marriage. I had all the ifs and buts ready to justify those choices and all it did was wear my marriage out and tear apart the man I swore to love. ...I weep with regret as I do now, every time I look back at this, wishing every time that I had the power to take all those wrong choices back. And I weep in awe, amazed and thankful, as I realize how far my God had taken from that distant and dark past...
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Lord, thank you for teaching me what the foundations of my marriage should be, that love ought to be unconditional, never depending on circumstance nor feelings but on a decision to commit. Loving based on attributes and qualities have been the bedrock of my marriage, accepting only what is lovable, and rejecting what isn't. I focused on the romantic aspects of it, my love depended on feelings, expecting to feel the "giddy in-love" feeling all the the time. I emphasized on my own needs that aren't met, zero-ing in on the negative and failing to take notice of the positive, going as far as thinking that I might have been better-off with a different life. I'm sorry, Father. Guide me to dig into the deepest and more permanent foundation of my marriage, which is unconditional love. Help me turn to you for guidance and direction on how I can get through the day-to-day quirks and foibles, the wear and tear that every marriage goes through...to love even through the "poorer", the "sickness" and the "worse" phases of my marriage. Allow me to experience an intimacy that grows with love, an unwavering commitment that bears, believes, hopes and endures ALL things. It can only come from You and You alone. Amen.
God demonstrates His love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
-- Romans 5:8
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Lord, thank you for teaching me what the foundations of my marriage should be, that love ought to be unconditional, never depending on circumstance nor feelings but on a decision to commit. Loving based on attributes and qualities have been the bedrock of my marriage, accepting only what is lovable, and rejecting what isn't. I focused on the romantic aspects of it, my love depended on feelings, expecting to feel the "giddy in-love" feeling all the the time. I emphasized on my own needs that aren't met, zero-ing in on the negative and failing to take notice of the positive, going as far as thinking that I might have been better-off with a different life. I'm sorry, Father. Guide me to dig into the deepest and more permanent foundation of my marriage, which is unconditional love. Help me turn to you for guidance and direction on how I can get through the day-to-day quirks and foibles, the wear and tear that every marriage goes through...to love even through the "poorer", the "sickness" and the "worse" phases of my marriage. Allow me to experience an intimacy that grows with love, an unwavering commitment that bears, believes, hopes and endures ALL things. It can only come from You and You alone. Amen.
God demonstrates His love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
-- Romans 5:8